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Golf Break

Golf lessons at home

Golf Break thanks to Gus Souza

Next best thing to cow pasture pool

It's important to remain active in retirement

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Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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