QuotaBillsBaby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker
The journey not the arrival matters. - T S Eliot
Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold
Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain
Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers
Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens
The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say. - Will Cuppy
One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha
There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris
My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter
The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra
I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker
Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox
The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter
At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh
The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan
A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump
Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson
Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown
The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto
No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay
The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell
I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt