#1 humor site on the 'net

Historic Texting

Re-invented moments in history

Historic Texting thanks to Keith Blake

4 calls and 7 texts ago ...

QuotaBills
History is a vast early warning system. - Norman Cousins

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Lily Tomlin

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

It's a very good historical book about history. - Dan Quayle

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill

We are not makers of history. We are made by history. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them. - James A. Baldwin

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. - Martin H. Fischer

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. - Margaret Thatcher

The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know. - Harry S Truman

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. - Mark Twain

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians. - Warren Buffet

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. - Frank Zappa

Acting childish seems to come naturally, but acting like an adult, no matter how old we are, just doesn't come easy to us. - Lily Tomlin

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign as Secretary of State. - Donald Trump

History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners. - Dale Carnegie

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli


Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing