#1 humor site on the 'net

Joburg Police

Taking a load off his mind may put a load into his mind

Joburg Police thanks to Jim Serritella

The butt of all police joe-ks in Johannesburg, South Africa

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


Electricity Storage

Socket To Me

Snail Time

Segway Stroller

Wine Worms

Bear Surveillance

Move Over

Guard Roos

Rich Man's Hobby

Illusive Dice

Rainbow Eucalyptus Trees

Passing The Buck

CradleHood

Save Yourself

Days Of The Week Socks

Hairy Potter

Cholla Claws

Missed Shots

In Step Horse

Canucks 2007 Team Photo

Digideroo Joe

Doctors' Strike

Electric Unicycle

Move Over Car