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Kenwood Chef

This chef does everything but cook

Kenwood Chef thanks to Mike King

Men that don't last long in the kitchen or house

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton


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