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Kids Meal

Humour for both dinner and license plates

Kids Meal thanks to Julie Kimmel

License Plate humor in Virginia

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

A crude meal, no doubt, but the best of all sauces is hunger. - Edward Abbey

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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