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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Men are mad things. - William Shakespeare

Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx

Don't get mad, get everything. - Ivana Trump

We are all born mad. Some remain so. - Samuel Beckett

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. - Aldous Huxley

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. - Salvador Dali

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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