#1 humor site on the 'net

Open Position

Mom thinks someone's missing in this relationship

Open Position thanks to Roy Taylor

Expecting someone new in the family?

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

We are in the extreme centre, the radical middle. That is our position. - Pierre Trudeau

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. - Mark Twain

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Conventions are like coins, an easy way of dealing with the commerce of relations. - Freya Stark

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

She is very proud to have won, and now she is in a very tough position. She is extremely brave. - Donald Trump

One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together. - Unknown

I never practice my guitar... from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. - Wes Montgomery

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

Truth in science can be defined as the working hypothesis best suited to open the way to the next better one. - Konrad Lorenz

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. - Terry Pratchett

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. - Booker T. Washington

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. - Oscar Wilde


Lunch Admirers

Loo View

Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys