#1 humor site on the 'net

Painful Ballet

Learning the sixth basic ballet position

Painful Ballet thanks to Keith Blake

Latest technique by Boris, the KGB ballet instructor

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Upward spinal (spiral) - Archie Bunker

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Wrestling is ballet with violence. - Jesse Ventura

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

The spine is man's Achilles' heel. - Andre Brie

Ballet is good, because it makes you stand up tall. - Carine Roitfeld

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I'm due at the ballet. They're doin' Swoon Lake. - Archie Bunker

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

We have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is talent and training, not color, that makes a ballet dancer. - Arthur Mitchell

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. - Bob Hope

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam