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Pet Food Tester

Little Johnny prefers pet food to veggies

Pet Food Tester thanks to Mike King

Mom, can I lick the bowl?

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


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