#1 humor site on the 'net

Rap Is Like Scissors

Not cut out for rap music?

Rap Is Like Scissors thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Why you can't beat good ol' rock and roll

QuotaBills
Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The piano ain't got no wrong notes. - Thelonious Monk

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Mark Twain

Country music is three chords and the truth. - Harlan Howard

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

I hate music - especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

Love is not love without a violin playing goat. - Julia Roberts

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

If I'm going to Hell, I'm going there playing the piano. - Jerry Lee Lewis

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. - Tom Lehrer

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. - Victor Borge

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. - Frank Zappa

There, standing at the piano, was the original good time who had been had by all. - Kenneth Tynan

Life is like playing violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

If you're in jazz and more than ten people like you, you're labeled commercial. - Herbie Mann

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. - S.J. Perelman

I dreamt of you last night, as if I was playing the piano and you were turning the pages for me. - Vladimir Nabokov

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler


Round Table

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

WinDoor

Welcome Doorknob

Trillion Dollar Man

Rabbit Boost

Engine-eering

Mustang Limo

Eye've Been To The Beach

Found The Apple Maps Car

Husband Frosted Cupcakes

Pantastic Crop

Log Haulers

Caffeine Boosters

Where I Live

hAir Force One

Sad Truth About The Oscars

Happy Hour Bike Club

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Want To Fiddle Around?

Eagle Hunt

Wurst Wi-Fi

Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?