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I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx