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Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner