#1 humor site on the 'net

Split Personality Ad

Backwards ad campaign reverses model appeal

Split Personality Ad thanks to Barry McCartney

Miss-placed advertising

QuotaBills
I discourage a cult of personality. - Newt Gingrich

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

When I split an infinitive, I split it so it stays split. - Raymond Chandler

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. - Norman Douglas

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. - Thomas Jefferson

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Character and personal force are the only investments that are worth anything. - Walt Whitman

No personal consideration should stand in the way of performing a public duty. - Ulysses S Grant

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Every dollar you invest in your personal development adds 30 to your bottom line. - Brian Tracy

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

Personal judgments are like watches; none go just the same, yet each believes his own. - Alexander Pope

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

I believe that visualization is one of the most powerful means of achieving personal goals. - Harvey Mackay

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Authenticity, honesty, and personal voice underlie much of what's successful on the Web. - Rich Lenall

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

Talking business disgusts me. If you want to talk business, call my disgusting personal manager. - Sylvester Stallone

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

An artist is a man of action, whether he creates a personality, invents an expedient, or finds the issue of a complicated situation. - Joseph Conrad

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. - Bertrand Russell

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Personal columnists are jackals and no jackal has been known to live on grass once he had learned about meat - no matter who killed the meat for him. - Ernest Hemingway

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


Lead Sled Dog

Copy Paste

Designer Shoes

1954 Prom Queen

Marshmallow Crop

'Do Not Read' Sign

Don't Ever Give Up

Amsterdam House Poles

Puzzle Makers

Baseball Slugger

Bear Print

Neck Exercises to do at the Computer

Geek Coffin

Sidewalk Jammies

Nature Calls

Son's Sun Protector

Something Wong

Camping For Seniors

Rinse Ride

Balanced Writer

Charlottetown Fire Truck

Crane Wreck

UK Credit Crunch

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time