#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Flies

Sticky clock latest gizmo to 'fly' off the shelves

Time Flies thanks to Howard Chapman

When you've got time to kill on the farm

QuotaBills
A day is a miniature eternity. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our costliest expenditure is time. - Theophrastus

The future comes one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

He was not of an age, but for all time. - Ben Jonson

The hardest thing to do is win it the second time. - Red Auerbach

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

Of all times in time of war the press should be free. - William Borah

Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by. - Maria Schell

I'll tell you how the sun rose - a ribbon at a time. - Emily Dickinson

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. - Joan Rivers

Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. - Erma Bombeck

Human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time. - George Orwell

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

It may make a difference to all eternity whether we do right or wrong today. - James Freeman Clarke

You don't do things right once in a while. You do them right all the time. - Vince Lombardi

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock. - Sigmund Freud

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time, like dew on the tip of a leaf. - Unknown

It's what you do in your free time that will set you free - or enslave you.
 - Jarod Kintz

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred. - Thomas A. Edison

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. - E.B. White

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

I have a Rubik's Cube for a rearview mirror, because the past is the only time puzzle I can solve. - Jarod Kintz

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. - E.B. White

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde

We are all the fools of time and terror: Days Steal on us and steal from us; yet we live, Loathing our life, and dreading still to die. - George Gordon Byron

The fruits of philosophy are the important thing, not the philosophy itself. When we ask the time, we don't want to know how watches are made. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg


Snail On The Run

Lizard Hair Style

Husband Day Care Center

Bite The Bullet Chocolate

Family Bike

Electrical Box Extension

Airless See-Through Tires

Free Cat

Bee Helmet

Field of Dreams

Pool Apartments

Rich Kid On The Block

Control Brothers

What Was Missing in Japan?

Ancient Japanese Proverb

Middle East Peace

Why We're Always Out of TP

Israeli TSA

Guitar Boat

Finger Phone

In-flight Refuelling

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Bear Expectations

Money Drop