#1 humor site on the 'net

Water Dancer

Taking the first step is always hardest

Water Dancer thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

'Walking On Water' for dogs

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Waiting Is Good

Low Expectation Autographs

Hide and Seek

1st Baby Photo

British Holiday

Katoomba Railway

Master Reference Binder

Spot The Surfer

In Hind Sight

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

French Red Wine

Medusa Shower

Egyptian Strawberries

Egotist

Eat Here

Ninety Degree Weather

People Crossing

Back Asswards

Exercise Tool For Seniors

Vegetarian Hunter

Closed Stor

Europe Road Trip

Below Ground

Beach Sign Training