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Worst Aid

When you know you've tried CPR resuscitation too long

Worst Aid thanks to Wayne Nowazek

First Aid courses for the elderly and by the elderly

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Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. - Unknown

Being afraid is the worst sin there is. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still pretty good. - Johnny Miller

That's your best friend and your worst enemy - your own brain. - Fred Durst

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. - George Woodberry

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Even when the world throws its worst and then turns its back, there is still hope. - Pittacus Lore

Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity. - Jean de la Bruyere

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self. All sin is easy after that. - Pearl Bailey

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. - Will Rogers

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

If you have a success you have it for the wrong reasons. If you become popular it is always because of the worst aspects of your work. - Ernest Hemingway

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


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