#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Papaya Crossing

In Hana, Maui, drivers must yield to beautiful fruit

Baby Papaya Crossing thanks to joe-kster

Baby Papaya Crossing thanks to joe-kster

Papayas (or papaws, or pawpaws) come in various shapes and sizes: the Hawaiian variety are smaller and are pear-shaped, while Carribean and Asian papayas are long and large.

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Hawaii is not a state of mind, but a state of grace. - Paul Theroux

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

A nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me. - Audrey Hepburn

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters