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Baby-Proof Christmas Tree

How to extend the use of a baby crib

Baby-Proof Christmas Tree thanks to Jane Wigmore

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Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


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