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BartendHers

Mirror, mirror on the bar - who's the fairest of them all?

BartendHers thanks to Vince Mallory

Some bartenders lead double lives

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


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