#1 humor site on the 'net

Be GarFul

It's so convenient when food jumps right into your plate

Be GarFul thanks to Mike King

What's the difference between an Alligator and a Crocodile?

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. - Bill Haley

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. - Dan Rather

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping that it will eat him last. - Sir Winston Churchill

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Redneck Speed Bump

Studley Tool Chest

Shopping With Your Husband

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor

Redneck Winter Tires

Fish Fingers

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

Down Under Statue

Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day

Detroit Discovery

Spit Priorities

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

So You Want A Day Off

Save A Tree

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Winter Deflation