#1 humor site on the 'net

Before Emoticons

Emoticons' effect on the way we communicate

Before Emoticons thanks to Mitch Ansara

QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar