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Bonus Baby

From Planned Parenthood to Surprise Parenthood

Bonus Baby thanks to Warren Ralston

Budgeting for two - affording twins

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Happiness was born a twin. - Lord Byron

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. - Mark Twain

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung


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