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Bonus Baby

From Planned Parenthood to Surprise Parenthood

Bonus Baby thanks to Warren Ralston

Budgeting for two - affording twins

QuotaBills
No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

There are two things in this life for which we are never fully prepared: twins. - Josh Billingsad

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S Patton

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. - Robert Frost

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung


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