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Canadian Car Crash

Please excuse me for interrupting your day

Canadian Car Crash thanks to Jerry VanHorne

Things are a little different in Canada

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Sorry, I'm still a dialectical materialist. - Fidel Castro

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. - Robin Williams

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin


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