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Canadian Diary

Did you know that Canadians are sorry about everything?

Canadian Diary thanks to Jerry VanHorne

Recording Canadian moments in your daily diary

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I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Sorry, I'm still a dialectical materialist. - Fidel Castro

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

I did a lot of things as a Muslim that I am sorry for now. - Malcolm X

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

Grab a chance and you won't be sorry for a might have been. - Arthur Mitchell Ransome

If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve. - David Sedaris

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. - Mark Twain

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train. - Oscar Wilde

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

Three of the most difficult phrases people can't say:
1. I love you
2. I'm sorry
3. I don't know - Joe Segal

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. - Samuel Johnson


Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck

Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships