#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Driving Perk

Nothing beats a hockey stick at a slow intersection

Canadian Driving Perk thanks to Jerry VanHorne

How to get to a hockey game faster in Canada

QuotaBills
Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Frost Flower

Where is Waldo?

Frigid Florida

Texas Cobra Boots

Autumn Download

Read The Fine Print

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

It's All About Attitude

Sauna Bar

The Importance Of Education

My Last Swim In The Ocean

Dog Tired After Work

Hammock Wine

Parenting Skills

Property Boundary

Tree Nurture

Beer Floating

Police Targeting

Hard Hat Safety

Don't Try This At Home

Canadian Bees

Spray-On Clothing

Five Firm Brakes Tire

Venice in Winter