#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Driving Perk

Nothing beats a hockey stick at a slow intersection

Canadian Driving Perk thanks to Jerry VanHorne

How to get to a hockey game faster in Canada

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower

Self Confidence

Wrong On So Many Levels