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Canadian Mail

Cold package delivery in the Moistwest Territories

Canadian Mail thanks to Jillian Hannigan

So, how cold was it for mail carriers last week?

QuotaBills
Never answer an anonymous letter. - Yogi Berra

I got a unanimous (anonymous) letter - Archie Bunker

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

BANG - A four-letter Italian word for good-bye. - Archie Bunker

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

If I had more time, I would write a shorter letter. - Blaise Pascal

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

If Plan A didn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters! - Unknown

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. - Josh Billings

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? - Mark Twain

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. - Blaise Pascal

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself. - Margaret Atwood

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


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