#1 humor site on the 'net

Check This Out

Something exciting on the other side of the fence

Check This Out thanks to Ruth Weber

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. - Robert Frost

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Cruise Ship Trailer

Lunar Powered Sailing

Hawg'n The Road

Sea Painting

Crosswalk Climber

African Flip Flops

Lion In The Bathtub

Tiring Tire

Foot Wear

Zebra Keyboard

Until We Understand Women

Grizzly Shoot

Historic Texting

4x4 Kitchen Design

World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle

Water Hypnosis

Flu Fashion

Handicap Porch

Underwater Home

Subway Solutions

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One