#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Balls

How to recycle your old Christmas ornaments

Christmas Balls thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Feed Santa Christmas balls this year

QuotaBills
The gods play games with men as balls. - Titus Maccius Plautus

The ball doesn't know how old I am. - Martina Navratilova

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling. - Richard Benaud

The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball. - Michael Holding

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it. - Lou Holtz

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When I played ball, I didn't play for fun... It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. - Ty Cobb

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. - Ogden Nash

If you're in the penalty area and don't know what to do with the ball, put it in the net and we'll discuss the options later. - Bob Paisley

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

WinDoor

Welcome Doorknob

Trillion Dollar Man

Rabbit Boost

Engine-eering

Mustang Limo

Eye've Been To The Beach

Found The Apple Maps Car

Husband Frosted Cupcakes

Pantastic Crop

Log Haulers

Caffeine Boosters

Where I Live

hAir Force One

Sad Truth About The Oscars

Happy Hour Bike Club

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Want To Fiddle Around?

Eagle Hunt

Wurst Wi-Fi

Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Just Need Juan