#1 humor site on the 'net

Cloud Control

Weather warning for a wet day ahead

Cloud Control thanks to Liam James

Some farmers can't get their crops in fast enough

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

Every cloud has a silver lining. - Proverb

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. - Maya Angelou

I started out as a gaseous cloud. Then I cooled. - Jack Nicholson

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most recent blessings or misfortunes. - Joseph Addison

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain