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Cooking For Guys

Cookbook for a bachelor's kitchen

Cooking For Guys thanks to Howard Chapman

Meal recipe for a bachelor: (A) simple, (b) quick, and (C) lots of it

QuotaBills
Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

That guy ain't been the same since he had that vasexomy. - Archie Bunker

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

Admit it. The cookie dough is usually better than the actual cookies. - Unknown

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. - Steven Wright

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. - Lou Duva

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. - George Burns

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time. - Lou Brock

The secret of managing is to keep the 5 guys who hate you away from the 5 guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I tend to play mostly villains and twisted people. Unsavory guys. I think it's my face, the way I look. - Christopher Walken

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Thousands and thousands of guys applied to be on the show... Some of them were crazy. Some of them were so much into themselves. - Donald Trump

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

This was a very classy guy - in a sharp coat there, one of them velvet collars, and of of them pearl-gray hamburgers on his head (Homburg hat). - Archie Bunker

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles


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