#1 humor site on the 'net

Crisp Chips

Potato Chip Factory Burns To A Crisp

Crisp Chips thanks to Paul Cheng

Some fires are ironic for lighting up newspaper headlines

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

It's better to burn out than fade away. - Neil Young

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Stay up and really burn the midnight oil. There are no compromises. - Leontyne Price

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

I think it's my adventure, my trip, my journey, and I guess my attitude is, let the chips fall where they may. - Leonard Nimoy

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago. - John Wesley

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

I have never seen anyone burn a flag. And if I did, it would take every ounce of restraint I had not to haul off and hit them. - Barack Obama

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Unknown

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Redneck Hitch Attachment

Texas Rims

Window Fall Repair

Louvre Paintings

Parking Spot For Women

Generations Past And Present

Jumping The Gun

New Speed Trap

Window Cleaning in New York

Welcome Beer Mat

Mr. Dressup II

Puppy Special

Breast Cancer Cure

Who Needs Physics?

Bach Scratching

OCD Cookie Jar

Dwarf Plane Pull

Fire Truck

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Cruise Ship Trailer

Lunar Powered Sailing

Hawg'n The Road