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Dad's Turn

Dad always shares when feeding the baby

Dad's Turn thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Teaching baby how the government does it

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


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