#1 humor site on the 'net

Employee Promotion

Some things never change in the office

Employee Promotion thanks to Jim Serritella

Promoting employees: how to do it right - the boss

QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Hire character. Train skill. - Peter Schutz

The only risk of failure is promotion. - Scott Adams

I want you to hold it between your knees. - Jack Nicholson

The first thing the secretary types is the boss. - Donald Trump

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

As I like to say, take the shot, even if your knees are shaking. - Robin Roberts

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

It's better to die upon your feet than to live upon your knees. - Emiliano Zapata

The boss says, 'Go', the leader says 'Let's go!' - Harry Gordon Selfridge

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

When you work the buttons here, see, it develops what ya call the digitalis skills. - Archie Bunker

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. - Doug Larson

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always find me and brings me back. - the Joe-kster

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you. - Mae West

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure. - Bill Gates

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up at work anyway. - Wally Wang

I would like to thank Tetris for providing me with the skills to jam as many dishes as possibly into my dishwasher. - Herb Pankratz

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

Motherhood is not for the fainthearted. Frogs, skinned knees and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy. - Danielle Steele

Misfortunes, untoward events, lay open, disclose the skill of a general, while success conceals his weakness, his weak points. - Horace

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

I think Mr. Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around. - Homer Simpson

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

The employees who share innovative ideas may also be the folks who have some hidden talents that would help incorporate their suggestions. - Harvey Mackay

We're thrilled to have an Olympian in our midst. And while we've let the viewers do the hiring ... I'm still doing the firing. - Donald Trump


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life