#1 humor site on the 'net

Fihs Meal

Taking a lobster bite of Fish and Chips in Texas

Fihs Meal thanks to joe-kster

Long John Silver's - a fish restaurant in Waco

QuotaBills
Lobster Greenberg - Archie Bunker

I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen

You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It is, admittedly, a base foodstuff, but lobster, well prepared, can nevertheless be made to satisfy the distinguished gourmand. - Eli Brown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell


Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing