#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Stuff

Wouldn't you love free things?

Free Stuff thanks to Wayne Nowazek

A would-be Sign of free would

Free Stuff thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Who dares not speak his free thought is a slave. - Euripides

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. - Charles Dickens

You must believe in free will; there is no choice. - Isaac Bashevis Singer

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. - Thomas Jefferson

They are not free who drag their chains after them. - French Proverb

I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. - Steven Wright

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free. - Dwight D Eisenhower

When you explore your fears then you set yourself free. - Stephen Richards

Nothing really sets human nature free but self-control. - Paul Bottome

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Darkness gives free rein to the mind's worst imaginings. - Jocelyn Murray

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. - Robert Frost

I can look at the knot in a piece of wood until it frightens me. - William Blake

You are absolutely free to describe me as a turtle or something. - Paul Giamatti

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

The trouble with free elections is, you never know who is going to get in. - Leonid Brezhnev

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. - Emma Lazarus

When advice is freely given, the receiver is free to use it as he or she sees fit. - Harvey Mackay

As the sculptor devotes himself to wood and stone, I would devote myself to my soul. - Toyohiko Kagawa

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he's absolutely free to choose. - William M. Bulger

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Remember that to change your mind and follow him who sets you right is to be none the less free than you were before. - Marcus Aurelius

The poor themselves can create a poverty-free world. All we have to do is to free them from the chains that we have put around them. - Muhammad Yunus

It reminds me why I chose Dauntless in the first place: not because they are perfect, but because they are alive. Because they are free. - Veronica Roth

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash


Welcome to our Ool

Super Size Mosquito

Perfectly In Tune With Nature

Crayola Keyboard

Turtle Leash

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike