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Girlfriends

Will your friends outlive your husband?

Girlfriends thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Elderly friends make for good relationships

QuotaBills
A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Here's to our wives and girlfriends - may they never meet! - Groucho Marx

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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