#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Control your own destiny or someone else will. - Jack Welch

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Courage, moderation, self-control - above all, the peace of a contented mind. - Lillian Watson

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control. - Tom Landry


Cooking For Guys

Sun Dial Fail

I Like Cooking

Wine Secret

Lean Beer

Tip Discount

Cake Message

Where Astronauts Hang Out

In Deep Water

Travel Mints

Kelpies

Late Lecture

Throne Games

Madeleine Albright

Walkies

Kona Lisa

Ice Cream Clouds

BrickManship

Fire Distinguisher

Escapism

Skywalking

Wine Karaoke

An Apple A Day

Horn Blower