#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

QuotaBills
Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Nothing really sets human nature free but self-control. - Paul Bottome

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Lord, give me chastity and self-control, but not just yet. - St. Augustine

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. - Pythagoras

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control. - Tom Landry

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider