#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

QuotaBills
The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

While your circumstances are beyond your control, your character is not. - John C Maxwell

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? - George Carlin

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. - Mr. Yoga

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal

I Sea Drums