#1 humor site on the 'net

Jewish Christmas Tree

Hanukkah festivities: dreidel, latkes and rocking around a Christmas Tree

Jewish Christmas Tree thanks to Moshe Rabinovich

Hanukkah, also known as the Festival of Lights or Feast of Dedication, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple (the Second Temple) in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire of the 2nd century BC. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights and days, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, which may occur at any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar.

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Better Than Concrete

Guaranteed Women Attraction

Rib Tickler

Spring Is In The Air

Safe Seat Belt

Leaf Surgery

Keyboard Running Shoes

Ten Miles Gallery

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Pickup Bartender

Tree Loft

Instant Antidepressant

Ukraine Skype

Who Lost The Keys?

Great White Socks

Master Chef Eggspert

Tire Trike

Pokemon Chasing

Welcome To Texas

Which Way To Go?

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

Underground Parking

TV Conference

Chair Master