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Just Lettuce Know

Doing punitence @ joe-ks.com

Just Lettuce Know thanks to Martin Grosse

Pun: The lowest form of humour - unless you thought of it first

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. - Rita Rudner

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

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Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee