#1 humor site on the 'net

Keet

Search for a unique Parakeet

Keet thanks to Howard Chapman

Parakeet - a name for any one of a large number of small to medium sized species of  Parrot, that generally have long tail feathers
QuotaBills
Beware the man of a single book. - Bertrand Russell

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. - George Burns

One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. - William Shakespeare

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. - Yiddish Proverb

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. - Will Rogers

If I look at the mass of people I will never act. If I look at the one, I will. - Mother Theresa

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching. - John Wooden

Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

No one has the right to sit down and feel hopeless. There's too much work to do. - Dorothy Day

One of the funniest antidotes of all time - you sit there like you're in a comma. - Archie Bunker

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives. - Lowana Blackwell

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. - Oscar Wilde

Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil. - Ayn Rand

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. - Garrison Keillor

Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless. - Tim Blixseth

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. - Steve Martin

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

If one could recover the uncompromising spirit of one's youth, one's greatest indignation would be for what one has become. - André Gide

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do something I can do. - Helen Keller

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. - George Carlin

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

The universe lies before you on the floor, in the mysterious bodies of your dancers, in your mind. From this voyage no one returns poor or weary. - Agnes de Mille


Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance