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Kickback

How to score your own goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback thanks to Mel Hardman

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QuotaBills
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. - American saying

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

You are the antibodies kicking in as the planet fights its fever. - Bill McKibben

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargained for. - Stanislaus I

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A mule will labor 10 years willingly and patiently for you, for the privilege of kicking you once. - William Faulkner

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. - George Carlin

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


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