#1 humor site on the 'net

Kickback - England

How to score an English goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback - England thanks to Mel Hardman

Interactive FIFA World Cup coverage

QuotaBills
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

To many, no doubt, he will seem blatent and bumptious, but we prefer to regard him as being simply British. - Oscar Wilde

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft


Shark Circles

Topographic Sink

Rock Watcher

We Call It Lake

Single Men For Long-Term Commitment

Sitting Just Off Center

Dentist Bowling

Maybe Shame Will Stop Her

Penalty Shot

Puppy Taco

On The Edge

Laptop Cooler

Bruce Lee Coffee

Stealth Cat

Fish Hawg

Bee Beard

Titanic Trailer

Porsche Bird Droppings

Foosball Maze

Brain Logic

Kickback - England

Preschool Parking

Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!

Big Ambitions