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Kickback - England

How to score an English goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback - England thanks to Mel Hardman

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England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton


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