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Kickback - England

How to score an English goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback - England thanks to Mel Hardman

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Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

To many, no doubt, he will seem blatent and bumptious, but we prefer to regard him as being simply British. - Oscar Wilde

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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