#1 humor site on the 'net

Me No Study

Finding rich guys for a care-free future

Me No Study thanks to Peter Ng

Some relationships are proportional to the money on the table

QuotaBills
Seek wealth, it's good. - Ivan Boesky

Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice. - Edward Moore

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich. - Donald Trump

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

It's just as easy to love a rich person as a poor one. - Unknown

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world. - Mohammed

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

The first rule is not to lose money. The second rule is not to forget the first rule. - Warren Buffet

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


Dodgy Ticker

Orcar

Eastwooding

Sandal Security

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children

Slovak Muffler Accessory

Towel, Please

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Donut Sale

Found The Food

Captain Hook

Pane-Full Motorcycle

Internet Surfing

Bored During Dinner

Sanitary Door Opener

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Shrinking Haze

Karate Lessons