#1 humor site on the 'net

Mechanic's Ring

Finger-Fine Jewelry for Special Mechanics

Mechanic's Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wearing a pipe wrench around your finger

QuotaBills
Love is the only gold. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

Rappers wear diamonds to compensate for a lack of fashion sense. - Asap Rocky

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

A diamond with a flaw is better than a common stone that is perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me his watch. - Woody Allen

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Liking the Leafs is like having molten gold poured into your face. It's gold, but it's burning your face off. - Sean Cullen

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah


2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Best Fairy Tale

Labor Ready Mall

Tetris Construction

Spider Girl

Kwik-Mart Math

If IKEA Ran GM

Winterized Motorcycle

Hooters Face Mask

Steep Steps

Fresh Air Mask

Road Pirate

Polar Bear Party

Floating Gazebo

What's That?

Looka But Don't Touch

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Ventilated Bridge

Mexican Fire Extinguisher

Latte Art

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Monkeying Around

Fake News

Winter Tires