#1 humor site on the 'net

Mechanic's Ring

Finger-Fine Jewelry for Special Mechanics

Mechanic's Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wearing a pipe wrench around your finger

QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Speak silver, reply gold. - Swahili Proverb

Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

He buries gold who hides the truth. - Pythagoras

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

Rappers wear diamonds to compensate for a lack of fashion sense. - Asap Rocky

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

Contentment, like a flawless diamond, is a valuable and scarce commodity. - Dennis Rainey

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring. - Fred Willard

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

Liking the Leafs is like having molten gold poured into your face. It's gold, but it's burning your face off. - Sean Cullen

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Bieber Escape

Safety Last Motorcyclists

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles F

Fetch Stick

Corvette Suspension

Cat Woman and Rat Man

Slept On The Tire

Itchy Nose

Redneck Estate Sale

Feetloaf

Puppy Wheels

Extension of Life

Redneck Porch

World's Ugliest Dog

Hidden Cell Phone Tower

Artistic Chair

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles C

Stealth Birdhouse

Airplane In Suds

Bicycle Built For Two

Love Thy Neighbour

High-Wire Act Violin

If You Work Hard