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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is. - H. Jackson Browne

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


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