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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. - Aristotle

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney


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