#1 humor site on the 'net

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

She used a strong-scented conditioner that day

Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Was she looking for a Bob haircut?

Instinct is the nose of the mind. - Madame de Girardin

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. - Laurence Olivier

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

Leaders inspire. They aren't assigned leadership. They command it. - Dr. Phil McGraw

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

Sometimes it's the people you can't help who inspire you the most. - Melinda Gates

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. - Max L. Forman

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

It is difficult to inspire others to accomplish what you haven't been willing to try. - Unknown

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Let hope inspire you, but let not idealism blind you. Don't look back, you can never look back. - Don Henley

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro

Green Beards


Irish Sky Garden Crater

Irish Drink

Emotion Stew

Irish Rugby Fans

Daily Trivia D

Work Hard Philosophy

Irish Sunblock

Eat More Greens Diet

Leprechaun Treats

Irish Diplomacy

Irish Virgin

Irish Banister Blessing

Irish Alzheimer's

Bagpipe Runners

Irish Philosophy

St. Patrick's Pot of Gold

Irish Flu Shots

The Fert

Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!

Hanging Out With Friends

Irish Birth Control

Philosophy of House Cleaning