#1 humor site on the 'net

One Way Repairs

Looks like this car has limited turning capability

One Way Repairs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Be happy. It's one way of being wise. - Colette

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure. - William Feather

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. - Aristotle

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway. - Albert Einstein

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it. - Dale Carnegie

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him.
If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. - Groucho Marx

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace

It's A Pittance Of Time

Patriot Blood

Juvenile Storage

Senior Wheelies

Dysfunctional Veteran

9 Month Scale

Young Who Suffer

Booger Queen

Expired Parking