#1 humor site on the 'net

Parenting Skills

Today's mobile and multitasking parent

Parenting Skills thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Parenting power - promoting effective discipline

QuotaBills
Parenting is ridiculously flawed. - Jody Defries

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. - Dave Barry

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take. - Rita Rudner

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Children aren’t happy without something to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller


Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate

Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine