A waitress came out of the Denny’s cafe and said, “Do you know that we serve bacon here?”
QuotaBillsIn a pig's dye - Archie Bunker
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown
Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans
Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown
I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell
Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown
I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins
You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker
Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz
I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak
In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo
Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown
Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown
If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman
Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton
News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch
The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson
The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell
I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown
Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming
I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker
Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer
When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor