Pigging Out in El Paso

In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. - Doug Larson

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor