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Use commas, and never miss a period

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How English grammar can improve your relationship

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Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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