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Use commas, and never miss a period

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How English grammar can improve your relationship

QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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